I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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