shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
