My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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