Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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