let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
