I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
