she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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