I want to have your abortion
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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