I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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