my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
