if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
