sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
