i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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