she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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