how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
