come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
