What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
