wrigley field is MILF paradise
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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