shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
