I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
