Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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