Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
