Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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