I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
