I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
