i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
