I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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