But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can i not drive my cunt home
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
