hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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