And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize