It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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