I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
