Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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