no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
