I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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