i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
