At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
