Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
