I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
