I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
