Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
