I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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