his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
