Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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