3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Who died my cat blue again?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
