Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
