If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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