Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
