So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this boner is exhausting
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
