He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
