Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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